His wife dragged him to the window, pointing to the blazing lights of the big distillery in the distance. “See how big it is?” she said. “They can always make it faster than you can drink it”. “Maybe so” said Murphy “But I’ve got ‘em working nights!”A woman buys a new Sim Card. She puts it in her phone and decides to surprise her husband, who is seated on the couch in the living room. She goes to the kitchen, calls her husband with the new number: “Hello Darling”. The husband responds in a low tone: “Let me call you back later, Honey, my wife is in the kitchen”.A lady to doctor: “My husband has a habit of talking in his sleep! What should I give him to cure it?” Doctor: “Give him an opportunity to speak when he is awake!”The other day I went up to a Christian bookstore and saw a “honk if you love Jesus bumper sticker”. I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting, so I bought the sticker. It had been very fulfilling to be able to get close to someone like that, and he knew right then that he really liked that woman, liked her a lot. He couldn’t say why, but did there have to be a reason? And then she’d taken the walk away, and he was upset. He laughed at himself: chick shit, ‘upset’, but he was, badly. He wished he could see her again. Hell, the sex didn’t matter even, it would just be nice to talk to her, to be around her, to hang out, go on the paddle boats again. Shit. He still had the bra she’d left behind. What was that all about? Was it some kind of mind-fuck, a manipulation? He smiled in a wry mask: his buddy Navidad would have had that bra crusty by now. The first thing Navidad would say about it would be, ‘Dude, you jerk off into it yet? Does it smell like her? You gotta hit that shit!’ He started laughing. Fucking Navidad. And yeah, it smelled like her. He’d folded it and put it in his top drawer without washing it. He’d learned a long time ago not to try.
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